am i eating because i’m bored or hungry: a mystery novel written by me
- 1/3 of me: I wanna be fit and sexy and have a flat stomach and be lean and have lots of muscle.
- 1/3 of me: I wanna be skinny and tiny and dainty and delicate and bony and frail and look cute in everything.
- 1/3 of me: I wanna not give a shit about what I look like and be happy instead.
if a guy buys you a bunch of drinks and then expects you to have sex with him you can just give him back the drinks by puking into his lap
do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar
I’m glad it isn’t just me
I’m a cashier and let me tell you that nobody cares and nobody is judging you, I love you.
Can you be my cashier forever
so what if we reinvtented marco polo and instead of one person saying marco and the other polo it went like
I think that would be more fun
Madonna is 55 and her boyfriend is 22
Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend is 26
Mariah Carey is 44 and her boyfriend is 32
If you’re not dating anyone, don’t worry about it, maybe he wasn’t born yet.
so my future boyfriend may be swimming around in his fathers ballsack as we speak?